one time...

In the clutches of his hands,

my bleeding heart beats delicately...

for his soul is maddening

& fleshy bites

devour me to reckless abandon.

In the beauty of light, 

to soften your soul

amidst wild & fire

was only a moment,

for all I see is a ravaging savage...

September 27, 2015 July Jennifer~❥

Ravenous Heart

guarded lover eternally pussyfoot'ing

and no matter,

those words echoed into the night

of Jupiter and Venus transcending the Moon.

"I love you"

first spoken upon Your lips.

intentions unsure

nevertheless

all revealed your affirmation,

transparent and declared from You.

wounded heart,

under lock and key

lost at sea

you'll never see

the vulnerability I have for you.

an ego that dwells upon reassurance;

I promise you,

 You were king

and now, only a beggar.

lost in gloomy nights

and starlit gazes

stands a Knight that fears abandon.

I see all of you,

the broken you embody

can only be consumed by hungry wolves

and lost souls.

Vampires in the night

stole the one I love

by reason of,

a cold blood

 runs through his soul

July 2015 ~ July Jennifer ❥

Fragile Heart

My heart may be fragile this journey but it is with abundant love and light. So if I feel you are without regarding spiritual energy in return I choose to not let you in. My heart and soul come first and foremost these days. This is a vow to myself and it is heart wrenching that I write this about family. Alone in a cold dark place last night has shown me the light, I want to return to my home and desire the comfort of my bed tonight. I want to be held and let out more tears. I am learning that my heart can only be protected by me. Myself alone, I must make decisions that may break now but in hopes the space will grow with a love that can be bonded once again. I can only seek what heals my heart.

With this breath I ask of you Universe;

let everything and all be free that shall be,

let all and everything enter at its own free flight. 

a vow by me...

May 10, 2015~ July Jennifer ❥

A Heart that Weeps

no longer
will I be held
hostage
in the pain you carry,
suffocated
like an endless journey
resonating in the darkness
of your thoughts.
bitter'
echoing in your rage
shooting daggers into my heart,
a heart that once loved you
hopelessly

you scorn me
parallel to many moons ago
and many moons shared.
I ask of you,
let me in
as something other than your lover.
you leave my heart aching
as your dialect
bruises an abounding love.
an affection
dying in the flame
that once burned beautifully
yet now,
resembling a bleeding heart

in all the moments
we still share
I weep in your presence
yet your heart remains
a bitter taste.
I can see in your eyes;
all you say is nothingness
as a tear
finds it way out of my eyes
and my heart holding fortitude.
realizing
I have to proclaim;
setting all free,
the devotion I carry for you
by virtue of the torment you keep
is no longer about me.

April 28, 2015~ July Jennifer ~❥

a song we share~ "Stolen Car" Bruce Springsteen 

http://open.spotify.com/track/6iXyMQAaSfGWe1DmRcf0D5

Grateful For...♥

...in no special order.

Falling in Love with my friends, they are all so beautiful in so many ways.

Falling in Love with all the beautiful men in my life that I shared an intimate relation with. Intimacy holds onto the heart forever.

Family; I don't have a very big family but we have the strongest bond and most honest relationship.

Losing myself over certain times in my life because only then was I able to go a little deeper and find myself once again. What grows inside of me...

Finding yoga, Bikram, meditation and most cherished, "spirituality" that dances with my heart.

Music. Finding art, finding my words once again to write. Finding dance again that makes my heart sing.

Heartbreak; because I truly believe it makes you deeply connected and centered with yourself. If you can realize sometimes it's happiness to let go.

My felines that have sauntered their way into my heart and where, forever they will remain.

Forgiveness, a quality I sometimes believe is my downfall beause I forgive so easily which can be painful later. But without this, are we able to even move on.

Friends and Laughter, a combo that's dangerous for many happy memories!

The Moon, the Stars, the Ocean; I'm so wrapped up in you.

Me...because the only one that can center and find a true love for oneself (at all times) is, yourself.

   and most of all..

Life...always pondering deep romantic thoughts...

August 11, 2014~ July Jennifer ♥

Release Me

passive love affair

behind a mask you wear

no more weeping soul

release me from the anchor

that restrained
so many untold years

I am no longer yours

to keep

so why do I still weep

your heavy anguish

be stills my heart

no more to bestow

nevertheless a love

that suffocated many moons ago

your words keep me hostage

to your wall

I am bound

I can no longer be
inside your knotted rope

I leave only my finger prints

an outline

of all that have I carried for you

 July Jennifer ♥

Her Last Breath

Piercing,
unrelenting breath.
Merely a single exhalation
would evoke all vulnerability;
lungs collapse.
She would all at once
let go,
tears streaming down uncontrollably.
It wouldn't surrender
until he held her head with his hands,
only then he finds her exposed.

There was no reasoning,
just abandon.
She was exhausted,
tired of weeping
being consumed from sadness;
imprisoned for years.

Can you embrace her,
Can't you just adore her.
Take her within you,
never let go.
Send goose bumps down her spine
like she once knew.
Butterflies fluttering...

She's apprehensive of any deep inhalation;
she's drowning
and not sure when to relinquish.
It was all so intricate
bound into years of defiance.
She's heartsick,
the pieces are falling
can't you see her tears.
A love bound by reckless care,
she doesn't know how to compose her thoughts.

Isolated tears fall from her face
and the moonlight shines upon her features
as reflections run through her spirit;
Can't you just take her into you...

Can't you behold,
in a time to come you intend to perceive.
What was once the moonlight upon her face;
the face of wonder and love,
was the one that gave you deepened breath.
The radiance that will illuminate your way...

August 7, 2014~ July Jennifer ♥

Butterflies are Dying...

She's a single butterfly
 fluttering about,
dancing
 to the rhythm of her own wings.
She'll fly with courage and dignity;
 only then,

her light will radiate
 what it once was.
She'll fly and love freely now,
 for the chains have been lifted.
She is no longer a prisoner in her own world...

July 31, 2014~ July Jennifer ♥

Drift

She walks over the ocean floor,

As weightless waves crash

A broken shore.

Two wandering elements 

Dance a fine tune;

Once ruled
By the Cancerian Moon.

Tugging,

Heart strings of ebb & flow;

Amid rocky shores a tow.

Words, incessantly unspoken;

A fragile poise is shattered, 

Broken.

At first glance;

Beyond the horizon,

An imposing dance
By the silhouette of a Harlequin.

Oh, Harlequin; how he 

Bequeaths affirmations 

Of a charlatan.

Un-changing 

Tug of war;

She is left
On the dance floor.

Starry night;

Fallen stars,

Illuminate the ocean, 

Tonight.

Henceforth,

One degree North;

A fueled fire sends her

A {drift}.

Luminescent Crescent,

Her only gift; she lets go

Of all she needs to know.
Slippery, Twinkling Stars;

There is nothing
Left here to know.

June 12, 2013~ July Jennifer ♥

started this poem on June 12th, had friends post a word on Facebook & picked the word {drift} & finally completed it today! Exactly one month! Weird! Also, a bit of a rhyming poem, out of my "ordinary"♥

Enraptured

I get lost in your eyes

yet I run to his heart

an ocean of secrets

and an endurance of tender heart

the only way to escape this world 

is to dream

I dream in a lost sea of blue

and kept secrets

it is the love I seek

yet have nothing in return

tugging heart
tears at my essence

only to bleed memories
that afflict me

A longing that envelopes 

my world of dreams

declares me destined

in my own heart

and leaves me grasping for air

I get lost in your love

yet I run to treasure his heart

folded in half

torn into two

a love bound by the stars

a love bound by heart

I find comfort

that transcends passion

a yearning inside of my soul

that will love and dwell
herein me forever

that will captivate my heart hostage

into that blue ocean

at lost for sea

November 13, 2003~ July Jennifer ♥

Haiku Poem~ Your Love♥

love bound by the stars

has a pull of the vast sea.

the stars are falling

2011~ July Jennifer ♥

My Secrets Lie

There’s a new boy in town;

his scent of salty sweetness

and eyes 
that of a vast sea

burns through the depths of my heart.

His touch is a soft memory,

fresh upon my skin 
like a hot summer day.

A kiss 
of fervor and rapture

enfolds a desire of profound yearning.

There’s sand in between my toes

and a light fragrance lies in the air

resembling that of plumeria heaven.

A moist heat radiates my skin

and a sense of vulnerability 
pushes through my soul.

Tugging at my heart strings.

He rides on a set of waves.

Our hearts meld into one;

not through a simplistic touch

yet through the eyes of two souls.

Separated once;

two souls found each other

through the stars,
through the pull of the moon
and that vast sea.

Two lost souls;

bound by dancing lights
broken apart

and love was lost at sea.

November 22, 2003~ July Jennifer ♥

Amore, Amour and Love

I have an anecdote to tell. It is full of lovers, little mysteries, heavy hearts, anguish, desecration, exuberance and many moments of L♥VE. I will dance around this journal blog from my history past to now with the in-between. I dream you will follow me...♥

My favorite word~ L♥VE. I am conscious of this word on an everyday footing. I've cultivated this one fleeting word into the depths of my spiritual being and long for prosperity. The abundance of one word is the relic of my vitality and I fancy such an essence of a simple phrase. I'm not saying it's transparent, we know that. It has many allusions and comes in many altered manifestations. Entwine with me as I saunter through my reflection of my forgone growth, in this moment of present and my dreams of the destined. Lets travel together, souls touching and cultivate one word~ L♥VE...

with love~ july jennifer ♥