Letting Go...

the other day I was in tears. the same news came in different form. when a new year was beckoning, a new beginning was to have you.

all I can hang onto are my memories of being a little girl with him. 

tears streaming down my face and my heart bursting with so much sadness and a lonely feeling of; why a father "couldn't" be a father a daughter needed. taking care of him after moving out at 15 and having no other parent made me realize a heartache of why I kept hanging on...

after so many isolated tears over years upon years, having your heart ripped out over and over again I have to find solitude when to let go. Let compassion be that of "understanding" and learn to love is to let go. I've been pulling apart for the past few years but there was always that lingering hope, wish...I have so much compassion in my heart for him but I also have compassion for myself and I love myself. I know hanging on just keeps me from moving forward. I know to love myself and let my light bright again is~ releasing all that's toxic...

always in my heart, a part of me I am you

January 4, 2015~ July Jennifer ♥

Enchanted Mystery

Unearth the light in his eyes

and her mysterious 

 vulnerability
opens; 

resembling that of a beautiful 

 intricate box

made of gold filigree.

His electric soul 

brings music to her heart

and she dances for him,

 in his loneliest nights.

He dreams the warmth 

from her skin

 setting his heart afire.

He dreams 

 when the sun

shall set 

off the burgundy's in her hair

 and the golden,

that sets a flame 

 in her eyes.

A burning desire 

 that she keeps captive 

in her heart.

The smell of everything "him" 

 indulges her heart.

She awaits breathlessly 

 the day to come,

that his strong hands;

in which feed her skin 

 warmth

and a desire burning

 from inside her heart;

will yet touch her again 

 and over again.

Wrapped into his hands, 

 her heart is encompassed 

  by that Knight...♥

completed December 23, 2014, original date a little before this~ July Jennifer ♥

Leo Lover

Sun to Moon
  drawn to the light,
thoughts of him bewilder her.
A smell,
  a kiss  
is desired.
To time, hours in the night
of a delicate dance,
  thoughts of her provoke him.
A dream cycle inhibits,
and her leg gently wraps around the curve of the moon,
  into the fire of the Sun

December 5, 2014~ July Jennifer ♥

the Lover♥

Moonlight upon her face

and she dreams in love.

Lovers come bearing gifts to her soul
and she is that of a blushing school girl.

An addiction for your cravings, 

one bite into her fleshy skin 

and she has you turned into a wild animal...

November 3, 2014~ July Jennifer ♥

Moonlight Lovers

They are the moon children 

and to a kiss time stands still.

Their passion evokes
a compelling desire,
the essence
dreams are made of.

His hands
embrace her vulnerability, 

her hand
interlaced sacredly within his;
the warmth

and a magnetic force is intertwined.

He then wraps his hands
around her waist

around her neck.

A love transforms

and the blue moon
illuminates the way;

into her heart and into his heart.

There is no defiance of forbidden love,
by virtue
of imprisoned passion.

Captive rapture arises from her being,
into his.

Altruistic.

The moon encompasses her

and only to him

can she fall into a love
destined by Venus.

A love story

in that,
the celestial's twinkle

and the moon blush
with crimson.

A love that stands still...

October 1, 2014~ July Jennifer ♥

Grateful For...♥

...in no special order.

Falling in Love with my friends, they are all so beautiful in so many ways.

Falling in Love with all the beautiful men in my life that I shared an intimate relation with. Intimacy holds onto the heart forever.

Family; I don't have a very big family but we have the strongest bond and most honest relationship.

Losing myself over certain times in my life because only then was I able to go a little deeper and find myself once again. What grows inside of me...

Finding yoga, Bikram, meditation and most cherished, "spirituality" that dances with my heart.

Music. Finding art, finding my words once again to write. Finding dance again that makes my heart sing.

Heartbreak; because I truly believe it makes you deeply connected and centered with yourself. If you can realize sometimes it's happiness to let go.

My felines that have sauntered their way into my heart and where, forever they will remain.

Forgiveness, a quality I sometimes believe is my downfall beause I forgive so easily which can be painful later. But without this, are we able to even move on.

Friends and Laughter, a combo that's dangerous for many happy memories!

The Moon, the Stars, the Ocean; I'm so wrapped up in you.

Me...because the only one that can center and find a true love for oneself (at all times) is, yourself.

   and most of all..

Life...always pondering deep romantic thoughts...

August 11, 2014~ July Jennifer ♥

Release Me

passive love affair

behind a mask you wear

no more weeping soul

release me from the anchor

that restrained
so many untold years

I am no longer yours

to keep

so why do I still weep

your heavy anguish

be stills my heart

no more to bestow

nevertheless a love

that suffocated many moons ago

your words keep me hostage

to your wall

I am bound

I can no longer be
inside your knotted rope

I leave only my finger prints

an outline

of all that have I carried for you

 July Jennifer ♥